I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Sext me about skeletons
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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