Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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