Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
