Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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