I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I want a musical about memes.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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