the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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