Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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