Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
