bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
