i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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