dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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