I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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