If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
