It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize