is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
