is your mom at the bar?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
