fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
