He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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