Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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