so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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