I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
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