she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
