I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
