He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize