i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
