This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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