oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
