Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Randomize
