the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
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Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
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For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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