Got a toothbrush?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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