Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
