There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize