he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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