dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
