Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize