Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
