so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just sent this text using only my big toe
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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