we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
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I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
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What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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