We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
