Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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