I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
