Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
