Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
pray to the hookup gods
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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