I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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