i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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