'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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