Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
