Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
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His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
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I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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