A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
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Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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