Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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