Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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