I accidentally burped into my bong.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
