your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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