i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
