omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
