i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
