youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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