You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
