yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
