she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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